You tell yourself you are being judgemental and too harsh. After all, you may have been taught growing up to ignore your inner instincts and that you should be nice because that is what nice people do! .

And then you proceed into the relationship… be it professional, platonic or romantic and you find out the hard way that your 1st instinct was correct!

The journey with that person is often a difficult one and involves pain and complications as well as missed signals and often loss. I hear this story very often in my office. The person will often bemoan the fact that they wasted all that time and they beat them selves up saying had they listened to themselves they could have avoided all this pain and loss.  We have all experienced this!

In reality we are either winning or we are learning! So in fact even through the difficult time you are winning.

Nothing is a waste of time as long as you are gathering the lessons and the insights from the events.  Sometimes we need to learn from pain. Sometimes we need to learn from true struggle.

The gut feeling is often an inner protective mechanism that wants to protect us from pain and disappointment. Yet there is another force within us that propels us to ignore it. Why??

Both are important. The gut feeling will keep us alive sometimes! So very important to listen.
And then sometimes we need to go through the bumpy road. And so maybe that is why the gut feeling is not as loud.

That pain and that disappointment are poised to be our biggest teachers and until we really learn what we are here to learn, we will need to live a bumpier life.  The harsh events will yield a fantastic lesson that catapults us to a amazing new heights.

After that “bad” relationship, you are now clearer than ever of what boundaries are necessary in your life. You became resolved as to what is actually important to you and what you actually want in your life and what you do not!

You commit to treating yourself as if you have true value and worth and you now realize how you really want to be treated by others.   You had to learn this!
You may have never really learned these things had you not viscerally gone through the pain with that person.

So the gut feeling is there to protect you but if you listen deeper to the gut feeling, it also is there to teach you what you really want, need and what is right for you.
Have deep dialogues with your gut feelings often so that your learning is optimized and your journey is filled with growth.

Have a blessed day!
Warmly,
Victoria

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