For me events like losing loved ones way too early in my life, having people I care about reject me, public failure in my career in acting and my struggle with infertility to name a few,  have been the greatest growth opportunities for me and my trajectory as a soul on this planet.

For example when I was rejected by people I thought would never do that, it became an opportunity to build my resiliency and to work deeply on my own self love and acceptance.  A lesson I had been working on since I was a very small child. You see, when I was in primary school I was bullied relentlessly and this lead me to question my value, my worth and to constantly wonder if I deserved love and acceptance. After all maybe they were right.

But that was deeply ensconced in the past and I thought I was over it. I had, after all, created a deeply fulfilling life with a loving husband and deeply meaningful work that provided help and support to many on this planet.

However, that lesson came to rear its head again later in my adult life and this really brought me to my knees. I had to go another round with it, to really learn the lessons it was trying to teach me ….. Only then, being broken and at my knees would I truly and finally  learn what I need to learn, deep at my core where it would permanently stick.

Lessons:
I finally learned you cannot please every one all the time, since that is the sure road to total misery.
I finally learned that being authentic will not always win you the support of everyone.
I finally learned you need to keep your vessel full and give only from the overflow.
I finally learned that I have a right to say no and to have boundaries.
I finally learned that being self compassionate is good and healthy not selfish and wrong.
I finally learned that tuning out other people’s opinions does not make me a bad person and the wisdom that I needed lived inside of me versus in others.

I committed to a daily meditation practice in order to tune into my deep self and really listen to the wisdom and intuition within.

The above lessons are very hard to really learn and live by especially if the family-culture one comes from is one that also grooms you to believe you must listen to the outside world versus your own inner self-culture in order to be considered a good person. For me to really be able to master that, I had to be brought to my knees.

The pain and the despair finally made me fully teachable so I was able to learn this key:
My value is not derived from what other people think of me. I am not what others think about me. Period.

Question to reflect on:
If you are in despair, are you making sure you are open and teachable to learning the key lessons that come out of the events you are going through?