No one knows what the future will bring yet it seems that one of the most paralyzing things is to over focus on a future that we have very little control over.  The richness of life is right here in the present moment. This is where we need to keep our attention. The bulk of our suffering comes from focusing on the past or the unknown future. These don’t really exist. All we have really is the NOW!  But somehow there is something incredibly seductive about future obsessing.  As we move into the new and unknown territory of our life it is normal to wonder as to what the future may look like but it is very debilitating to indulge the terrorizing thoughts about worse case scenarios.  In fact you are telling your mind a FALSE EVIDENCE APPEARING REAL (F.E.A.R) STORY when you do that.  Unfortunately, the mind is very suggestible. The brain seems to grab on to fear based stories about the future and run with it.  If you grew up in a family that had allot of trauma, you will likely be more susceptible to these lines of thinking.  To a traumatized mind, fear is a more familiar place to be as opposed to trust.

If one is to overcome the addiction of worst case scenario future thinking we need mind discipline. It is the only way.  Meditate often on the now. Focus on your breath as much as possible. This is a sure way to reduce the pain of future worry thoughts. Then visualize yourself being resilient and strong in the face of problems. See a wise aspect of yourself coaching a worried and fearful aspect of yourself.  We know that life will throw curve balls at us but seeing oneself as strong and able to cope repetitively with life’s foibles, will encourage new brain neural pathways and will assist you to embrace the concept that you can weather well what is thrown at you.

Also transcendence thinking is an important tool to help you navigate through the tough times you fear or that you are going through.  It is key to see life from the perspective that we are on a learning curve journey. Everything that happens is to benefit us and to help us to grow. This will allow you to encounter future feats and problems and not crumble in defeat but thrive instead.  You transcend the problem this way.

A butterfly needs struggle to develop its strong and flexible wings. We humans as well need a bit of resistance and strife to develop a stronger self.  And like a race horse travelling along the journey of life, we need to have our head looking straight ahead at immediately what is in front of us. With blinders on to avoid delving too far ahead!! That is the way to tackle unknown newness.  If you deviate and look too far ahead you then lose site of the present where the clues are that you need in order to tackle the future with grace and ease.  When too far in the future you actually stop being able to negotiate the present. You are then bound to not only slow yourself down but grind yourself to a freezing halt of future worrying immobility.

Future fear can make you want to start doing the absurd like comparing yourself to others. Society, parents, schools may have made that absurdity a normal thing to engage in by telling you that you need to keep up with this person or that situation. But I can assure you that dwelling on comparison thinking is the surest track to self esteem murder.  Comparing what you are doing to what you perceive others are doing is usually a journey into madness, for you are comparing your insides with other people’s outsides.  That is, comparing how you feel on the inside with what you perceive you are seeing in other’s outer reality is a true falseness to tell yourself. This is bound to awaken your inner bully to begin its torture and mayhem of any real progress you may be making. The inner bully will begin to criticize and judge and say things like “Look at her! She’s younger, prettier, thinner, smarter than me!” and on and on the inner bully will go or shall we say the inner bitch will proceed on her piranha like journey!!

The real truth is that we can always find someone better, smarter, prettier etc… if we indulge in that folly. But true mental and emotional health is derived from appreciating yourself as you are and from feeding your mind with encouragement and positive feedback on a regular basis. In fact studies show that your whole outlook improves when you speak kindly to yourself, about yourself and about the future. You will be more motivated when you are kind than if you beat yourself up with whipping words of seeming motivation that is actually bullying. The negatively will basically scare yourself into just sitting on the couch and safely watching some show that distracts you from what you need to be doing.

Let’s remember that future worrying is not the same as future planning. The former is a way for you to indulge in a fantasy world that will surely scare you in ways that will tempt you to never step outside of your comfort zone.   Future planning on the other hand is a methodical action plan that you set up for yourself. For example let’s say you have a goal to improve your grade point average by a given date. Set up a plan in which you work backwards from that date. Write in the calendar all the items you will complete. Remember: if you can track it, you can change it. Keep a journal so that you can monitor your feelings alongside the calendar tasks. Through this profound process you will be able to acknowledge the fear feelings while at the same time you can summon in the wise part of yourself (that we all have…promise!!) to kindly coax you out of your negative state of being.

Know that you are literally only a bit of time away from achieving your goals if tackle them in this way. Don’t indulge the fear of the future. Stay focused on your divine now. This will alleviate your soul immensely and will lighten your mood immeasurably.

“Present-moment living, getting in touch with your now, is at the heart of effective living. When you think about it, there really is no other moment you can live. Now is all there is, and the future is just another present moment to live when it arrives.”