First I want to say that I enjoy reading your articles. They’re very enlightening, and I’m learning so much from them. I wanted to ask you about self-love. My grandmama is always telling me that I need to learn to love myself first before I can learn to love another person. I was always being teased by other kids when I was growing up. I was made fun of because my family couldn’t afford to buy me the pretty dresses the other girls in my school wore, and I was a chubby child so that made things worse for me. How can I forget the negative things I was told as a little girl? I don’t feel beautiful and I still think I’m ugly sometimes, even though people tell me “what an attractive young lady I’ve grown up to be”…
Amanda
Dear Amanda,
Thank you for your kind words regarding my articles. Amanda, the thing about life’s challenges is that they are always there because somehow our higher self knew that we needed to learn the lessons they offer in order to grow and enrich our soul. There is no way around that mountain in my opinion. If we fail to see the lessons that a certain challenge has to offer, it is sure that lesson will keep showing up until we get it. Your childhood sounds like it had some very cruel moments that you must have brought on the feelings of “I have no control over anything”. You should not forget the negative things you were told as a little girl. But do not let the memories convince you that you are a victim. You are not. It takes a strong and resilient person to go through what you went through and not become a mess. You do not sound like you are a mess.
I invite you to instead ask your soul how you may have evolved and benefitted from the challenges. That is a way to transcend what you have gone through. Feel the pain. Grieve the losses. Then visualize often, you comforting yourself as a very nurturing parent would comfort a child. Love that child fully and unconditionally. Eventually you will feel more full and nurtured. You then need to acknowledge the traits within you that evolved from it all. You became strong and resilient. You learned to value things that are far beyond beauty. You became more compassionate toward those who are being hurt. With each day that you acknowledge your magnificence and your ability to stand up to the pain of life versus step down under the pain of life, you will see your beauty. You will know you have become a wonderful and strong woman. You will know that it is time to love, accept and cherished yourself. With this self love, you face life more courageously and able to love others. I know this to be true.
Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, CCC, RPP, RPE
Holistic Psychotherapist
Masters in Educational Psychology
Canadian Certified Counsellor
Registered Polarity Practitioner
Registered Polarity Educator
Reiki Master
New Decision Therapy
