Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria .

With mental illness, the pain of feeling mocked, gossiped about or ashamed is so difficult and isolating. They feel often they need to hide or lie in order to mitigate the feelings of being ostracized. The reality is that there is still a stigma attached to mental illness though society. The community, the country and the planet at large need to to have the same sense of compassion for those with mental illnesses as they do for those with a physical illness like cancer. It is time to stop hiding and it is time to bring it out into the open so that true healing on a larger scale can occur.

I received a letter recently about someone who experiences a very debilitating form of agoraphobia and mental illness generally around that whole condition: depression, agoraphobia, she never leaves the home, and she wanted me to do a video on the stigma of mental illness, and to encourage people to be aware, not to make fun or gossip about them. I want to support this person very much, because I can see how much she’s suffering. Recently here in Canad, the Bell Media corporation gave ten million dollars to the CAMH centre for addiction and mental health, and they’re going to put their name on the building, and I’m so impressed with them, because it’s never happened where a corporation puts their name on a mental health establishment, there is such a stigma attached to mental health, and there has been for many centuries. We finally have an opportunity in this day and age, as a people, as a community, as a globe, as a world, to have compassion for those who suffer from a variety of mental health issues. It’s not their fault, they didn’t ask for it. They’re suffering as though they had cancer or some other physical illness. I’m here to say that this woman who experiences agoraphobia and feels shame and is crippled by this, and what I hope is that she finds help, some therapy, even phone therapy, to support her through this. Please do, because this is not something that’s going to go away if you stay home forever. It’s just going to get worse and worse, and you will become a shut-in. It sounds like there are some aspects, this person goes out a bit, but it’s terribly difficult for her, and she finds herself having to lie about what she does. She was at a funeral, and someone said, “Hey, what’s happening with you,” and she lied that she was taking some online courses about something she knew nothing about, they started to quiz her about it, and it was just a mess. She senses that the neighbours gossip, that her mother has to hide all of this, the whole family is involved. It’s just a really sad situation; she obviously wishes this were not the case. A lot of this type of agoraphobia comes from severe anxiety and depression, and people find themselves unable to move beyond it.

(2:46) I’m here to tell you that if you get some phone therapy, that will begin the healing journey, so please try to get that. The message from this video is, be mindful of people who have weird, strange mental illness issues, depression, anxiety, they have overreactions in your mind. They’re not overreactions to them, they’re just suffering, and they’ve got a worry centre in their brain that is overdeveloped, and they have really a tough time and they’re suffering immensely. If you know someone who is mentally ill, have compassion. I’m not saying to you, do anything for them yourself because you’re not a trained professional, but have compassion. Acknowledgment, compassion, a sense of empathy, not gossiping about them. Try to send them some love, and try to support them on their journey if you can. That is my main message with this video. Mental illness has a terrible stigma attached to it. Anyone who’s out there not getting help for their mental illness, I want to encourage you to get help, because don’t think you are this person that has a stigma because you have a mental illness, go get help. There’s help out there. Join a free group. Sometimes if you have no money, go to a 12-step problem for adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families. This is a wonderful place to listen to like-minded people, or people who do the same stuff anyway. Keep the hope alive, and those of you who do not have mental illness, be compassionate with those who do.

Victoria Lorient-Faibish MEd, CCC, RPP, RPE
Holistic Psychotherapist
Masters in Educational Psychology
Canadian Certified Counsellor
Registered Polarity Practitioner
Registered Polarity Educator
Reiki Master
New Decision Therapy

Izzy on July 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I don’t understand why anyone would lie about having agorphobia or get other people to lie on their behalf. Agoraphobia is a well-known illness, no stranger than anxiety or depression – it sometimes accompanies one of these illnesses – and shouldn’t be a source of shame for anyone. On the contrary, since it takes enormous courage for someone to go out when feeling on the verge of collapse, feeling about to faint, the person who has agorphobia should be proud of themselves, proud that they can live with such a horrible illness. I should know, because I lived with it myself for years, from age 20 until about my mid-50s. Yes, life could be horrendously hard but I survived. It taught me not to be afraid of anything else, because anyone who is strong enough to live with agrophobia has lived through the worst terror imaginable. I want to emphasise this point as strongly as possible – you must NEVER allow yourself or anyone else to see your agoraphobia as some evidence of weakness, because it is nothing of the sort. I remember reading a doctor’s words about this; he said if anyone thinks your agoraphobia is proof of weakness, tell them to go their doctor and ask for an injection of adrenaline, then send them out into the street. The result? – they couldn’t cope, because they’d feel exactly as someone with agoraphobia feels, ie weak, dizzy, trembling, close to collapse.

So please, agoraphobia sufferes, don’t put yourselves down, remember how tough you are to cope with these horrible feelings, remember that other people have it easy so they don’t really understand about courage and how much of it you have. I do encourage you to go out even when ill if at all possible, because eventually you may, like me, find yourself free of this nightmarish illness. It can fluctuate in severity, but in my own case it has more or less disappeared for which I am massively thankful. But I remember how awful it was and what courage it took to set foot outside my house, so I know there is nothing for you to feel ashamed about. Anyone who criticises you or thinks you’re weak, on the other hand, has a lot to feel ashamed about. If this illness ever strikes them, they will wish they hadn’t been so quick to judge.

2 Comments

Izzy on July 26, 2011 at 2:45 pm

I don’t understand why anyone would lie about having agorphobia or get other people to lie on their behalf. Agoraphobia is a well-known illness, no stranger than anxiety or depression – it sometimes accompanies one of these illnesses – and shouldn’t be a source of shame for anyone. On the contrary, since it takes enormous courage for someone to go out when feeling on the verge of collapse, feeling about to faint, the person who has agorphobia should be proud of themselves, proud that they can live with such a horrible illness. I should know, because I lived with it myself for years, from age 20 until about my mid-50s. Yes, life could be horrendously hard but I survived. It taught me not to be afraid of anything else, because anyone who is strong enough to live with agrophobia has lived through the worst terror imaginable. I want to emphasise this point as strongly as possible – you must NEVER allow yourself or anyone else to see your agoraphobia as some evidence of weakness, because it is nothing of the sort. I remember reading a doctor’s words about this; he said if anyone thinks your agoraphobia is proof of weakness, tell them to go their doctor and ask for an injection of adrenaline, then send them out into the street. The result? – they couldn’t cope, because they’d feel exactly as someone with agoraphobia feels, ie weak, dizzy, trembling, close to collapse.

So please, agoraphobia sufferes, don’t put yourselves down, remember how tough you are to cope with these horrible feelings, remember that other people have it easy so they don’t really understand about courage and how much of it you have. I do encourage you to go out even when ill if at all possible, because eventually you may, like me, find yourself free of this nightmarish illness. It can fluctuate in severity, but in my own case it has more or less disappeared for which I am massively thankful. But I remember how awful it was and what courage it took to set foot outside my house, so I know there is nothing for you to feel ashamed about. Anyone who criticises you or thinks you’re weak, on the other hand, has a lot to feel ashamed about. If this illness ever strikes them, they will wish they hadn’t been so quick to judge.
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