So many people say to me… “NO! I hate feeling the guilt. It kills me! I hate seeing others disappointed in me!” It is incredibly normal to just want to avoid or block uncomfortable feelings. We go about the business of avoiding people, places, situation and things that will bring on guilt. We avoid. We hide from those we don’t want to let down. Sometimes we even do that awful thing called “ghosting” to just not have to deal with the person we do not want to say no to. And then sometimes….we will just say “Eff it! It is too hard to deal with the pain of the guilt of saying “no”. So we will just say yes. Ugh!
BUT that leads to feeling a sense of deep disappointment in oneself. A sense of shame that we did not stand up to the guilt and that we have let ourselves down. We allow others to control us and we learn to disregard our very wants and needs at our core. This turns into a self loathing and a profound rationalizing away of our very nature.
