Articles
Question re: Self love
First I want to say that I enjoy reading your articles. They're very enlightening, and I'm learning so much from them. I wanted to ask you about self-love. My grandmama is always telling me that I need to learn to love myself first before I can learn to love another...
Mental Illness: Healing The Stigma
Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria . With mental illness, the pain of feeling mocked, gossiped about or ashamed is so difficult and isolating. They feel often they need to hide or lie in order to mitigate the feelings of being ostracized. The...
Changing: Healing The Hurt Child
What is change? How do we achieve this illusive concept? How do we master going beyond what we have been taught to do repeatedly either because we saw it or because it was drilled in to us ad nausium? The thing I ask when a client enters my office is “What is not...
Question re: Moving on From Grief
Dear Victoria My grandmother passed away last summer, and I'm still having trouble coping with her death. What made it extremely hard for me, is that I heard the news from complete strangers who randomly showed up at my front door a few days after she died. I had not...
Breaking the Cycle of Dysfunction: The Buck Stops Here!
Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria. Multi-generational dysfunction is pervasive. People are doing to their kids what was done to them largely because they are totally unaware and mired in their own rage and shame. The lack of recognizing this is...
Are You Overly Involved In Your Adult Child’s Life?
Transcribed from my video at www.youtube.com/askvictoria. Parents of adult children so often have a hard time letting go. Their expectations are dashed and they feel that they need to get in there and either save their adult kid or control the choices they make. The...
The Codependent Life
We live in a culture in which codependency seems to be normalized. The very relationships that are labeled as nice, healthy and very common in the media are in many occasions unhealthy, over enmeshed and compromised of freedom and joy. Instead, as we scratch below...
Getting In “Right” Relationship With Self and With Life
You cannot have a good relationship with life if your relationship with yourself is off the rails. Developing a “right” relationship” with oneself requires a discipline of one’s thinking and a willingness to be in a teachable state of being with life. When...
What is Your Money Vibration?
Whenever I work with people who have a tremendous amount of unmanageable debt and/or money issues it seems that their emotional state of being and self esteem are commensurate with their money problems. I anecdotally observe that the more debt a person has, the lower...
Being Your Parent’s Parent: Stop Now!
A reader wrote a letter to me asking how she could stop being so affected by her mother who is depressed, critical and manipulative. I would like to share with you my thoughts through showing you the letter and also my advice to overcome this pattern of constant...
